Before you know it, you're old and it won't stop

So I'd thought I'd mark an upcoming ocassion happening in my life soon by posting a blog. It's been a while since I've posted one but I'm just trying this for me so that I may look back on this time in the future and realize, most likely, nothing much has changed. Five days from now I'll be turning 35. I thought 30 was when I really realized I was getting older, but I didn't feel half of what I feel now. It's actually a bit frightening to really think about. More so now because I haven't achieved much in my life to really be proud of. When I think of turning 35 I realize that I'm now what most would consider, middle aged. Though my body feels like I'm 70, mentally I'm wondering where the heck my life went. It's like when people say, "Life flashes before your eyes". Though that's usually when something happens that maybe be life threatening and fatal, but isn't aging pretty much the same thing? Though I'm not afraid of death persay, I have a strong belief in God and I know He has my back and when it's my time I will be in His Holy Grace. That being said, I think what I actually do fear most about death is, naturally, how I would die and who I would leave behind. Recently I've had a few near death experiences that made me realize that the life we are given truly is precious. I always thought I would embrace death if it came because I would go to God and be at peace. But when I experienced these "events" I found that I wasn't quite ready to go. I was begging God to help me, to give me the strength to survive it. After the last experience, I had to make sure that I pay attention to what I was doing. Even if my life as it stands is pretty stagnant, I still had that fear inside and had to battle to overcome it. The fear had more to do with who I'd leave behind that frighten me most as well as the condition I was in to get myself to the point of almost dying. I didn't want to die like that. I didn't want my loved ones to know how I would have died, it was more about embarrassment and negligence. So with those instances and my upcoming birthday, I find that though some have ideas, fears, opinions, etc. about aging and death, It's The Little Things of life that make you have to stop and see where you are and what's going on because you never know how fast life can pass you by.